What a British etiquette expert would never do in a hotel

From noisy corridors to thieving toiletries, William Hanson reveals the hotel habits that horrify him most.

People often behave differently in hotels than they do at home, and not always for the better. 

Prominent British etiquette expert William Hanson, who directs The English Manner institute in Central London, puts bad hotel behaviour down to the "commercial" factor. "It's a transactional proposition, so some people wrongly feel they are entitled to behave in a way that they wouldn't at home. Whether that's leaving their room an absolute bomb site or being rude to the staff."

A new etiquette report by Hotels.com found Brits committing all sorts of dark hotel deeds, including breakfast buffet queue-jumping, reserving sunbeds with towels, smoking inside their rooms and washing their underthings in kettles. Yet, the same study found that Brits rank themselves among the world's most polite travellers. Hanson wasn't surprised by the self-appraisal: "We are a tiny, tiny, tiny island nation and one thing that we pride ourselves on is our good manners."

Nonetheless, Hanson says he is "relatively horrified" on a daily basis by social faux pas. Here, he explains some of his biggest hotel pet peeves – and how he thinks we should all do better.

Brits consider Americans and Germans the rudest guests, [but] in my opinion, Brits can learn something from Americans. There's that lovely sketch in [the 1970s British sitcom] Fawlty Towers where there are two diners sitting at the table complaining about the meal to each other saying, 'The beef is terrible!' and then Basil Fawlty comes over and says, 'Everything alright?' They go, 'Oh, yes, lovely! Thank you so much!' Whereas if there's a problem. an American has less resistance to talk about it sooner.

We're all human, things do go wrong. You can still deal with this in a courteous way. I think that's where Brits sometimes lack the confidence to say, 'Well, actually, this isn't quite up to par' or 'The towel's a bit dirty' or 'My room hasn't been cleaned and it's now 18:00'. Brits sometimes mistake being polite for being a pushover, and they are very different things.

Treat the staff with respect; everyone in any industry deserves that. Just like we judge hotels when we walk in, the staff are forming a first impression of us. If you've used a reward scheme, that's probably going to put you in good solid footing for some sort of upgrade or additional perk. But you can probably get upgraded just by being decent human being. If you scowl at them when check in is taking far too long – even if it is – you're not going to stand yourself much luck.

Call them by name! They've got name badges for a reason. Or if they introduce themselves, "Hello my name is William, I'm your concierge for today", remember the name and use it back. They will go the extra mile because you have seen them as a person rather than as a function. In my phone, I always write down names of staff in restaurants and hotels I go to frequently – yes, I look at it before I turn up again.

Last night I was in a bar, and the manager had moved from somewhere else but because I've trained my brain to get better at names, he brought over three glasses of Champagne – just because I had used his name. In this slightly anonymous society that we now seem to live in, actually using someone's name and giving them the recognition goes the extra mile.

I think Brits are particularly susceptible to this; hotel reviews are not just there to complain, they are there to praise as well. If something's gone wrong, we're more programmed to think, "Right, when I get home I'm going to write a damning review" and that's going to be like a therapist and get it all out of [your] system. We are less predisposed as a society to use a review site to write "The most fantastic pain au chocolate I had at breakfast" or "The staff were really helpful and went the extra miles for my mother who was staying with us." If there are 10 bad reviews of the hotel there will be 100 positive reviews that were not written. So sometimes I do think reviews can be a bit skewed to the negative, particularly Brits who are slightly more pessimistic.

Do remember that people don't just sleep in hotels at night; people might be sleeping in the day because they've been working overnight. It's amazing how many times I've been in rooms getting ready and there's a child tearing down the hallway chasing another child. Hotel corridors should be cathedral-like in their quiet serenity because you don't know what is happening behind the doors. The primary function of the hotel, other than to rest and have a nice time, is to sleep.

If it is the hair dryer, that's just theft. The cotton pads that you get in the amenities kit, sometimes you get a nail file and a sewing kit, all of that is fine. Most hotels are now going down the sustainable route of fixing bottles to the wall that they will refill so you can't take those away. [No to] towels, bedding, robes… the slippers will be fine, you can absolutely take the slippers. 

In a really nice hotel, I have a real aversion to seeing luggage. Concierge are there to assist you with [it]. You are meant to phone up and go, "Please, could someone come and collect my luggage? We're checking out in 15 minutes" and they come and get it for you rather than you schlepping it down the carpeted corridors. You can of course do it; it's not the end of the world, but the concierge, porters and bellboys are there to assist with that so don't feel as if you have to overcompensate or be too nice – "Oh, I can't possibly phone up and get someone to take my case" – because that is the service that they are providing and that's why they are charging the prices they do.

This interview has been condensed for length and clarity.

BBC Travel's The SpeciaList is a series of guides to popular and emerging destinations around the world, as seen through the eyes of local experts and tastemakers. 

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