Women's alcohol deaths are increasing - my daughter died after fighting for decades

The number of women who died last year in Scotland from alcohol-related illnesses was up by 3% on the year before, official figures show.

Overall, the total number of people who died from alcohol-related conditions fell slightly, to the lowest rate since the pandemic. There were 1,152 alcohol-specific deaths registered in Scotland, a decrease of 3% compared with 2024.

The Scottish government said the drop amounted to progress and that it would invest £160m this year on alcohol and drugs programmes.

But one mother from Aberdeen whose daughter died alone after decades fighting alcoholism described her illness as "relentless" and said sometimes all the resources available are still not enough to beat it.

Paula Gibson's daughter Clare died in November 2023, aged 45, after spending the last 20 years of her life in and out of addiction services. She had periods of sobriety, but ultimately died at home alone.

The 74-year-old said her daughter started struggling with alcohol in her early 20s but over the next decade her behaviour escalated, even with help and interventions.

This led to Clare's parents taking custody of her youngest son, Craig, who was eight at the time.

"It probably took about 10 years of feeling like something wasn't quite right, while trying to support her through interventions, but it wasn't enough.

"Her behaviour was extreme and the impact it had on all of us was really difficult.

"We were living on a knife edge, not knowing what the next phone call would be or what would happen to her next.

"Her wellbeing became compromised. She was not making any rational decisions or the right choices for her or her children," she said.

With both of Clare's sons living with their grandparents, the family tried to maintain their relationship, but it became difficult when the addiction took over, Paula said.

"As a family we were firmly focused on trying to maintain the relationship with Clare and the boys.

"We tried to always keep contact between them, because family ties are so important. "

Things escalated months before Clare's death when she went into rehab while her younger son and parents went on a holiday to Greece.

She didn't make it through rehab and during a hospital stay was told that if she did not change her lifestyle she would die.

Paula said the boys had been looking forward to seeing their mother after rehab in a safe setting and breaking the news was one of the hardest moments of her life.

She said: "It was utterly destroying.

"Clare had been sober leading up to this and phoned me in floods of tears expressing huge regret about the pain she had inflicted on our family.

"We were both weeping on the phone and I told her to go back into rehab for support and she would get through this.

"I told her I loved her and I forgave her, and we would see her when we got back from Greece."

When the family got back, they received a phone call from a painter who was doing work in the house, who had found Clare.

She was not in rehab and had collapsed and passed out at the bottom of a set of stairs.

"We drove back from Glasgow to Aberdeen and I had to tell them mum had failed rehab and they couldn't see her because she had relapsed.

"This was the hardest thing ever because this time we really thought she was on the road to recovery.

"Within two months she was dead," Paula said.

On the night she died, Clare had reached out to emergency services overnight but it was a social worker who found her in the morning.

She died of fatty liver disease, or alcohol-related liver disease (ARLD), where the liver is damaged by drinking too much alcohol over a long period.

Paula spent over 20 years supporting her daughter and said they had all the resources you could need - but sometimes that is not enough.

She said, despite everything, Clare left a financial legacy so her children would be looked after.

"We spent so many decades living on edge and waiting for that phone call, so that when we found out Clare had died there was a sense of relief - she was finally at peace.

"Alcoholism is a crippling disease and a nasty cycle of horror for those in it and everyone around them.

"No one wants to be an alcoholic. The whole family suffers.

"She was just like Jekyll and Hyde with a drink, that's the reality and it is hell."

Despite her struggle Clare spent a lot of time volunteering for her local church and Home Start - a local family support charity offering volunteer-led services to families with young children in Aberdeen.

Her mum said: "Clare was such a kind, loving and caring person.

"She was empathetic and had so much love to give. She sent all of that love to everyone else because she couldn't love herself."

Throughout the addiction she was supported by Alcohol and Drugs Action (ADA) - a local charity who develop and deliver services to those affected by alcohol and/or drug use and the Aberdeenshire Council substance misuse team

Paula was still being supported by the charity years after her daughter's death and said they were an "exceptional service".

She said: "Both services were incredibly supportive until her last day. She had one-to-one counselling for years with the charity and they brokered the funding for her six-month stay in rehab.

"They were just astonishing. They never judged Clare and never stopped trying."

Scottish Health Action on Alcohol Problems welcomed the fall in alcohol deaths but raised concern over rising deaths among women.

The charity's chairman, Dr Alastair MacGilchrist, said: "It is deeply concerning that while deaths among men have fallen, deaths among women have risen.

"This comes after years in which the alcohol industry has made a targeted effort to encourage more women to drink, from products and packaging designed to appeal to women to marketing that links alcohol with wellbeing, celebration and empowerment."

MacGilchrist also said that alcohol deaths rose sharply during the pandemic and had been slow to come down.

"Despite this year's fall, deaths remain higher than they were before Covid, and people living in Scotland's most deprived areas are now 4.8 times more likely to die from alcohol than those in the least deprived.

"That is not a situation we can accept as the new normal. It is a reason to act," he added.

If you need support for any issues mentioned in this article you can find resources here.