Skip to content

'I gave up my job to care for my dad with dementia'

Kelly Foran,North Westand
Lauren Hirst,North West
News imageBBC Lesley Ritchie is sitting a brown, patterned couch. She is wearing glasses and a white and white spotted top. BBC
Lesley Ritchie opens up about the emotional side of caring for her father

When her father started to show the early signs of dementia, it was a heartbreaking reality for the family.

Lesley Ritchie, 59, and her sister share caring responsibilities for their father Paul, 89, who needs constant care and support.

Emotionally and financially, this inevitably takes its toll on the siblings.

"There's work, there's dad and there's me and you can't do all three so I did take the decision last year to give up work," said Lesley, from Wilpshire in Lancashire.

"You think that will help but it just throws up other problems because there's obviously a financial impact on me, you then become isolated."

Her father received the devastating diagnosis that he had dementia in 2020.

Lesley, who worked as a HR manager for the NHS, went part-time in April 2024 before leaving her job in July 2025 to care for him.

"His biggest fear is losing his mind as he would say. It is hard," said Lesley, who has taken up some casual work to fit around her father's care.

"You can be fine one minute, but then you're in floods of tears the next.

"Because you're seeing someone that you dearly love slowly be taken away from you."

News imageFamily handout Lesley and her father Paul, who are both wrapped up and wearing ski clothes, are pictured on the ski slopes in this picture taken in years gone by. Family handout
Lesley, pictured with her father Paul, has taken on the role of carer

During the time BBC North West Tonight spent in their home, the care and the love between the family was clear to see.

"It is hard when people do say 'aren't you good, aren't you a lovely daughter?'" said Lesley.

"Well on the good days I am, but there are bad days where sometimes you do think I'll have to just walk away when he's asked me for the 50th time, what are we doing today.

"You just walk away. And then you don't feel such a good daughter."

News imageFamily handout Paul, who is shirtless and is wearing jeans on a summer's day, is sitting on the sand on a beach. Family handout
Paul was diagnosed with dementia during the coronavirus pandemic

She said the care sector was "grossly under funded and not supported".

"I'm not saying I expect handouts but if we weren't doing what we were the doing the state would have to pick up a lot more," she said.

"To just say 'just give me some help' isn't asking for much I don't think.

"I appreciate it's difficult but what we need as carers is to be able to say 'I need some help tomorrow afternoon' but to coordinate that is hard."

A Department of Health and Social Care spokesperson said: "We are addressing the adult social care sector's urgent need for support by providing a funding boost of over £4.6bn, introducing a new fair pay agreement for care workers, and increasing the carer's allowance earning limit by more than £2,750 in two years.

"To address the long-term, structural issues we inherited, we have commissioned Baroness Louise Casey to lead an independent review into adult social care."

Listen to the best of BBC Radio Lancashire on Sounds and follow BBC Lancashire on Facebook, X and Instagram. You can also send story ideas via Whatsapp to 0808 100 2230.