'I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for Hollyoaks'

A mental health campaigner said they were seconds away from taking their own life before being saved by a plotline in a soap opera.

John Junior, 37, from Wythenshawe, in Greater Manchester, had been suffering with depression since the age of 14. But after the sudden death of their father in 2018, the then-IT worker said they hit rock bottom.

During lockdown in 2020, John was contemplating taking their own life when a Hollyoaks storyline stopped them in their tracks.

"I seconds away from ending my life," John recalled. "I had Hollyoaks on in the background and I turned round to watch the scene.

"There was a moment when a character was told her partner had taken his own life.

"Something happened to me and it gave me enough time to think beyond what I was about to do.

"I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for Hollyoaks."

Ahead of World Suicide Prevention Day 2026, on 10 September, John said now they want to share their experience to encourage others to speak out.

Warning: This article contains references to and details of self-harm, suicide, and suicidal ideations. The BBC Action Line has details of a range of advice and support for anyone affected by the issues raised

John said they had suffered with their mental health for more than a decade before hitting rock bottom after the death of their father in March 2018.

"I was diagnosed with depression when I was 14," they said. "It had been a part of my life but I was wearing a mask constantly.

"My father's death pushed me over the edge - it was a shock."

Three days afterwards, John said they attempted to take their own life for the first time.

"I didn't want to die, I wanted that feeling, that pain to stop," they said.

After being discharged from hospital, John sought help from their GP and from psychiatric services.

And in 2019 they were diagnosed as having Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) - a personality disorder which affects mood and interactions with others.

"When I had the diagnosis I thought it was brilliant," John recalled. "I had been unaware my symptoms of depression were indicative of BPD.

"I thought I was going to get the help that I needed."

But John, who currently lives in Wilmslow, in Cheshire, said they were told the treatment required, known as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), was not available in the area.

DBT is a recognised NHS treatment for BPD.

It is a form of psychotherapy with a focus on self acceptance - according to mental health charity Mind, DBT is "specially adapted for people who feel emotions very intensely".

John said they felt lost without access to this NHS treatment.

"It made me feel horrible and like I was small," they said. "You've just been given a diagnosis of the most complex mental health disorders and I didn't have the right support."

But in 2020, John decided to make a second attempt on their own life.

"I was literally on my computer and I had Hollyoaks on in the background just playing away," John said.

"I had started watching it again during lockdown.

"And I heard a knock at a door in the episode.

"I started watching it and it was two police officers telling a character, Nancy Hayton, played by Jessica Fox, that her boyfriend Kyle Kelly, played by Adam Rickett, had taken his own life.

"Something inside me changed as I realised that could be my mum or my brother.

"I had been planning to take my life in that moment and it was like I was being shackled down and I couldn't move.

"To this day I can't put it into words - it literally just released me from these shackles, released me from these chains, and I felt free."

Since then John launched a campaign with their local MP Esther McVey to help others access DBT.

John has also become a full time mental health activist in a bid to help others in their position.

Along with a stuffed duck toy named Charlie, John has been across the UK and even abroad attempting to connect with others.

"Charlie is a conversation starter," John said. "We are basically a voice for other people.

"It evolved from me taking him out with me for comfort - to realising it made people smile.

"It is like a light for the people."

Following John's experience, they even co-created and featured in a documentary on Channel 4, Hollyoaks IRL, about people whose lives had been affected by the soap.

And was nominated for a BAFTA TV Award in 2022 for their contribution.

Now, four years on, John says their mental health journey and campaign was still ongoing.

And they are currently undertaking an undergraduate degree in Psychotherapy at the University of Staffordshire in a bid to continue to help others.

"I have spoken to thousands and thousands of people who are on the waiting list for therapy," John said. "I want to get qualified and be able to help other people."

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