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28 October 2014
The Smoking Room

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The Smoking Room
Character Guide:

Character Profile: Gordon

Age: I'd pass for late thirties/early forties so put that. In fact, put, 'Around the forty mark'. Lends an air of mystery.

Marital Status: Keeping myself occupied, but not denying anyone. There are three used wedding rings in an old mug at home that I'm going to melt down one of these days - to make a medallion style thingy, with 'Free As The Wind' emblazoned on it.

Favourite Book
Finnegans Wake. I'm not without my intellectual side.

Hobbies: Is getting married a hobby? I seem to do it often enough. I always see the good in people, that's my problem. Storm in thinking everything will work out fine. Then I cop a big helping of crap as the facts slowly reveal themselves. I daresay I'll marry again. Daft, naive me. I'm bound to give in to someone's pestering.

fag ash

Favourite Colour: Red. It's hot. It's passionate. It's strong. It's the Gordmeister to a tee.

Ideal Holiday Destination: Anywhere you can strut about as nature intended. But with shoes on. I'm not ashamed of my body. Why would I be? I never went to naturist resorts with Collete. I was ashamed of hers.

fag ash
Favourite Film
Don't bother with 'em. It's all just living your life second-hand, in my view. You only get the one go at this, you know. If you want the girls and the glamour don't sit and watch someone else enjoying them - get out there and grab them for yourself. Ask before you grab the girls, perhaps. There's some strange new laws about all that business now.

Person You Most Admire: The man I see shaving every morning. That's my reflection. I'm saying: 'Me'. I'd like to make that absolutely clear. I don't share my bathroom with another man. And if I did it would only be to share the bills. Nothing dodgy.

Earliest Memory: I'll always remember my dear, departed mother, saying to me … ach, God! Don't write the tears down. Don't let them know I cried! Sorry. Gather me thoughts a moment. Yes. I'll always remember my mother, God rest her, saying to me, 'Gordon you are the most important person in the world. Bar none. Ever. Don't let any jealous bugger tell you different'. Maybe it was the morphine talking, but it made damn fine sense to me.

fag ash

Greatest Achievement: It's yet to come. I'm planning to be the longest-lived human being ever. People will come and marvel at me from all around. The USA. Wigan.

Favourite Song: To All The Girls I've Loved Before.


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