SCROOGE: I’m feeling very nervous about this. Yeah — I’ve been warned some of these are not me at my best.
Hi. I’m Ebenezer Scrooge, and this is my Life in Looks. Here goes.
Oh. Wow. Look at that. Yes, this is me. I must be eight or ten years old. It’s Christmas Day.
If I had to describe this in three words, I’d call it my “poor forgotten self” look. Which, ironically, I’d actually forgotten about. To be honest. Poor little guy.
GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST: Strange to have forgotten it so many years.
SCROOGE: Yeah — that’s the Ghost of Christmas Past.
GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST: A solitary child.
SCROOGE: Yep. Thank you.
GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST: Neglected by his friends.
SCROOGE: Actually, I remember very well, thank you.
Part of the aesthetic here is standing by a feeble fire. It had to be feeble. This was my minimalist era. I did it first. Light, fire, warmth — and the lack of it.
This is a motif I return to again and again as my style evolves.
Oh! Now this is a look. This is the Fezziwig Christmas Party era. Not quite red carpet, but still pretty swanky.
Oh, look at him. Look at him. He’s so full of hope.
You know, Fezziwig was a good boss. Not like some people I could mention. Not naming any names.
GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST: Ebenezer Scrooge. A solitary child—
SCROOGE: We’ve done that. That was earlier. Neglected by his friends — yes, we covered that.
Thank you though. You’re doing marvellously.
Oh no. Speaking of bad bosses — can we skip this one? No? Right. Here we go.
This is when I had just begun to wear the signs of care and avarice — which I remember thinking really suited me.
You can’t see it here, thankfully, but I used to have this greedy, restless motion in the eye. Very popular with finance bros at the time. Me and my business partner, Jacob Marley — restless eyes, big time.
Always looking for profit.
I’m actually wearing this mid‑breakup. Yes — it’s my revenge look. Wherever Belle is now, I hope she’s happy.
GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST: She is.
SCROOGE: Great.
Ah. This is my signature look. Solitary as an oyster.
All vintage. I hated to buy new. I hated to buy anything, really.
You could say I’m underdressed — but I didn’t really feel the cold. Because, in a way, I was the cold.
No warmth could warm this guy. He carried his own low temperature always about with him.
This hat — do I sound crazy, or is it kind of giving candle‑snuffer? Like I’ve metaphorically snuffed the warmth out of myself? Am I overthinking this?
I am. Okay. Never mind.
Oh! Sorry. Sorry. This is a transformation.
Are you ready for this? I don’t think you’re ready. Okay. Here goes.
This is me on Christmas Day. After a life‑changing makeover.
Before. After. Do you see it?
Pulled an all‑nighter. It paid off.
I am not the man I was.
Shout‑out to my glam team — Ghost of Christmas Past, Present, Yet To Come — and Jacob Marley. People forget him.
GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST: Did you mention me?
SCROOGE: Yes. You were literally the first one. Are you listening?
GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST: I missed it.
SCROOGE: Okay.
I was originally going in a totally different direction. I was going to wear the chain I forged in life and wander the earth accessorised with cashboxes, keys, padlocks.
But when I saw that look on Jacob Marley — I knew it wasn’t right. Chains are not in this season.
Christmas.
Yeah, wherever he is now, I wish him all the best.
GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST: He is travelling with no rest, no peace, from the incessant torture of remorse.
SCROOGE: Oh — look! Here I am, at my best.
I was really feeling myself here.
Layers — in both senses. I’m warm. Total glow‑up.
Some people said I looked “irresistibly pleasant.” Not my words. Still work to be done. But we’re all works in progress.
Even if you think you can’t change — you can. No one is past all hope.
If you’ve never given it a try, I really recommend being haunted. Those guys completely changed my life.
Merry Christmas.
VOICE: Uh — it’s March.
SCROOGE: I honour Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all the year. That’s my top tip.
GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST: You were horrible. But then again — you were a solitary child.
SCROOGE: Is there not someone else you could haunt?
Description
Ebenezer Scrooge revisits his life in looks in this social media parody. He looks back from solitary child to miserly businessman and all the way up to today’s post ghost Christmas glow-up.
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