Hey, ladies. Whoah, big muscles! You working out? You all have plenty of questions about wrestling games, right? Ask away.

Q: Wrestling games are awful, right?
A: Wrong. All the ones YOU’VE played are awful, but that’s only because you lot buy your games from the high street, like pathetic sheep. I bet you read games magazines and believe the review scores too, aye?

Q: But wrestling is awful, right?
A: No, wrestling isn’t awful. Here’s what else it isn’t: homoerotic. I’ve heard all this rubbish before, so don’t give me it. I’ll knock you spark out. Go and watch some Kenta Kobashi matches then tell me that wrestling is awful. I will Burning Hammer you where you stand.

Q: So what wrestling games should I be playing?
A: Virtual Pro Wrestling 2 on the N64 is ridiculously great. It’s the Japanese version of the much-loved WWF No Mercy. If you’ve got an N64 that can play imports, get yourself on one of those auction sites and snap it up
Giant Gram 2000 on the Dreamcast is also shockingly good. It’s one of the most fast-paced fighting games you’ll ever play. Even if you hate wrestling, you’ll love it. It’ll make you scream with joy.
The greatest of them all is the almighty Fire Pro. I’m not going to bang on too much about it, because I wrote a 6 page article all about it in a games magazine a couple of years ago and got paid for that, so I’m not doing the same again for free just to make the BBC happy. All you freaks out there who enjoy your 2D beat-em-ups should be jumping on the Fire Pro bandwagon, even if wrestling disgusts you. Fire Pro is pure game. It encourages yourself and your opponent to craft an entertaining match – you never lose a game of Fire Pro cheaply. It’s a game that encourages fighting with honour, a game that encourages storytelling in combat form. In other words, it’s exactly what a wrestling game should be. There have been loads of Fire Pro games over the years (and I have them all, obviously, yeah, don’t be jealous, shut up) but Fire Pro Returns has just landed on PS2 in the States. Import, import, import.

Q: What about this new Smackdown thingy Raw whatever that’s just out?
A: What about it? WHAT ABOUT IT, IDIOT?

Love, Rab.

(VG team note - Rab, not ladies, made these questions up).