Self-doubt to the summit - the rise of England's Smith

Linsey Smith's shirt from her England debut has finally made it out from under her bed.

For years, Smith, who is now ranked the number one T20 bowler in the world, kept the shirt hidden away because of a complicated relationship with her first spell as an international cricketer.

She made her England debut as a 23-year-old in 2018 but has spoken since about "hating" the experience. There were times Smith would check the weather forecast the night before a game and hope for rain.

"I feel guilty talking about it and saying it, but that's just me being honest," Smith tells BBC Sport.

"I'd put so much pressure on myself and kind of would spiral when things didn't go right. It would really affect me negatively.

"I'd think bigger picture like, 'this is terrible', 'this is so embarrassing', 'you're not good enough'.

"All of that self-doubt crept in."

Smith, now 31, played nine T20s for England across that first spell. She took 13 wickets, had a bowling average below 15 and an economy rate of little more than a run a ball.

Many, possibly most, would view that as a success, but Smith, who describes herself as a perfectionist, was unable to find the positives at the time. She then lost her England contract.

"It's hard to explain really, but growing up as a kid, you have these goals to play for England," Smith says.

"Then you get there and you put all this internal pressure on yourself, which isn't helpful.

"I just wanted everything to be perfect, every ball to be perfect, which is quite unrealistic. I had a lot of growing up to do as well.

"When I did lose the contract, the kid that grew up wanting to play for England and loved playing with their mates, I'd just lost all sight of that.

"Cricket wasn't a fun place for me to be in at that time."

It was at this point Smith considered walking away from the game entirely, but she regained the love with Northern Diamonds, Hampshire, in The Hundred and in other franchise leagues. She also worked as a community coach for Leicestershire.

After five years away she was recalled in 2024 and since the appointment of coach Charlotte Edwards, Smith has become a mainstay, and one who goes into a home World Cup as the world's leading bowler.

She is a "a very different player and person" now, though some of those old tendencies remain.

"Me and Belly [England seamer Lauren Bell] joke about it a lot," Smith says.

"We're obviously the opening partnership and the yin and yang.

"I'll have lists and I'm very structured in terms of like how I plan my days and stuff and she's obviously just away with the fairies.

"That's great for her where she really helps me out as well."

Yin and yang, tall and short, spin and seam, right-arm and left-arm, Smith and Bell will be crucial to England's hopes of winning the T20 World Cup.

They will continue as England's new-ball pair – a role they also fill for Hampshire and, in three matches earlier this year, Royal Challengers Bengaluru in the big-money Women's Premier League.

"Lauren makes me laugh a lot. She's great to have around," Smith says, as a grin comes across her face.

"We had a game for Hampshire at the start of the season and I just said to her 'look, Belly, I've been working on this variation and I've not got it out in a game yet. I just really need you to kind of encourage me to do it'.

"Eventually, I did get it out and she was at mid-off. She just turned around and was like 'Oh. Wow. It was a dot ball. How crazy…'."

Smith's impression of Bell's deadpan delivery needs work but the story moves the conversation onto the developments in her game.

Smith is enticing as a bowler because, while fellow left-arm spinners Sophie Ecclestone or Tilly Corteen-Coleman stand tall, or Charlie Dean fizzes down off-spinners, Smith slings the ball towards the stumps with a low arm.

She remains steadfast about what category of bowler she falls into – "I'm a left-arm spinner" is the reply without a moment's thought – but there have been times this summer when she has swung the ball more than the pace bowlers on either side.

"I actually did use that as a bit of ammo because after that first game [T20 against New Zealand], I actually got told off by Lauren and the seam bowling coach for not shining the ball," she says.

"I said, 'well, guys, I'm still swinging it the most…'."

And Smith is now happy to play into that role.

During England's fixtureless winter, she worked hard with spin-bowling coach Tom Smith to develop variations in her game with the most notable being a low-arm under-spinner - the ball Bell was so dismissive of.

It has helped her grow in effectiveness at the death, in addition to her skills with the new ball.

"We were kind of just joking around like, you know, I'm not your traditional, like left-arm spinner with the turn and bounce," Smith says.

"We just looked at my action and said 'you're not going to get your arm really high and we're not going to push you away from your strengths'.

"It's just been about just having a bit of a play around, to be honest, and figuring out what's working."

There was a time when playing around on the international stage may not have suited Smith but she believes she is in a far better place now.

That first England shirt has made it out from under the bed but not yet onto the wall, but Smith insists it will be up once she finds the time.

First, she has a World Cup to win.