| Profile : Huw Green | Huw Green lives in Nottingham and loves the burgeoning Drum and Bass scene as well as Selectadisc and the Broadway cinema. In addition to attending as many gigs as possible, he likes to keep an eye on the weird and wacky around the city. He enjoys windsurfing and goes to Rutland water to catch a breeze whenever there is enough time. When he grows up, Huw wants to be Donald Sutherland in M.A.S.H. |
Jordan and Ben are tense but excited, as events co-ordinators for University of Nottingham charity organisation Karnival they have spent the last who-knows-how-many-weeks organising one of the biggest events on the University calendar; the bizarre male beauty pageant Mr Nottingham. All the halls of residence have selected a candidate, from their own hall fundraising competitions, and the night has finally arrived for them all to gather in one large event and show the rest of the student body why it is they who should be crowned Mr Nottingham. Stress-free it isn't "This is a nightmare, it’s mad".  | | The baying crowd |
Backstage, the competitors are not so fazed, "Nervous? I was but I'’m cool now" Mr Florence Boot tells me. Hidden from the baying crowd of supporters and assorted students, they are gathered in a small office room to make all their last minute preparations. Mr Derby accosts Ben; "I need to know whether my dancing ladies are ready, I need to sort out my women." Others are busy stowing eggs and making sure they have buckets to hand. Perhaps a little predictably, almost everyone competing sees "World Peace" as priority in the event of a win. Outside in the club, the audience is buzzing; there is a sense of expectation but nobody present really knows what they have in store. Minutes beforehand, Mr Lenton has admitted that he hasn't really done much personal training and Mr Willoughby has said he is "bricking it". Supporters are variously chanting their hall names, one audience member bizarrely wishes Mr Cripps "Good luck with the waxing." The event itself gets underway with the talent round, an initial chance for the respective Mr Halls to show everyone what they are made of. They are led on stage one by one by the glamourous girls from the University calendar.  | | Mr Ancaster plays with his ball |
The talents themselves are a glorious mix of the sublime and ridiculous, with some impressing visuals thrown in here and there. Mr Ancaster performs a range of impressive football skills in just his underwear, while Mr Cripps engages in a painful display, waxing some rather intimate areas in front of the delighted audience. Mr Newark smashes slates karate style with bare hands, severely injuring his hand but soldiering on despite the insistence of the organisers that he should go to hospital. Mr Medic arrives on stage in full surgical dress to shave his head on stage and Mr Hugh Stewart makes his inelegant way through a strange assault course held together by his two glamourous assistants. At the end of the first round the judges have their work cut out to pick the most stunning talents, but shortly the unsuccessful ones are demoted with a custard pie to the face. Mr Cavendish is not unduly upset despite his exit from the competition "I had an awesome night and I'm glad to have entertained the crowd." Mr Newark is similarly sportsmanlike "I'm not bitter. We're all winners." Meanwhile, back on the stage eight are left and the fitness round is next up, two trainers run our heroes through a rigourous assortment of push-ups, wheelbarrow races and an old fashioned test of strength involving a belt. The contestant numbers drop from eight to four. Next up, the Elvis round eliminates Mr Rutland to leave Mr Derby, Mr Nightingale and Mr Sherwood. Their final task? To try and seduce one of the female members of the Karnival executive committee. This is undertaken with vigour and all three of the participants end up in the advanced stages of undress. When the music, Tom Jones' "You Can Leave Your Hat On", stops, the crowd is roaring. In the judges' booth, notes are exchanged frantically and important concurring takes place.  | | Mr (Uni of) Nottingham aka Mr Derby |
Finally the result is ready and an impatient audience is hushed as the presenter reads through the final three. "In third place: Mr Nightingale, in first place…" (silence) "Mr Derby!" the winner is suddenly held aloft, Mr Nottingham 2004 is selected and everyone is delighted. Kelly, General Secretary on the Karnival exec reminds us what this is all about "The money raised tonight will go to a variety of charities in and around Nottingham and Derby" and what a lot of money it is! Have a proper look at all the contestants in the Mr (University of) Nottingham competition by following the links in the top right hand corner of this page. | 
