East-End boy goes to Sea (4) - Drunkeness and pork pies

1945.

I was on the LST (Landing Ship Tank) 3502 and we were in the Bangkok River. Under the peace treaty with Japan, Japan had to supply Malaya with so many tonnes of rice — as reparations. We provided the ships. A landing ship tank could carry loads and loads of rice. First of all they had Japanese labour loading it up but there were various problems so they put the Ghurkhas on the task. And this rice went up the Bangkok River.

One particular day, I’d been in town collecting the post. We had some Indian Army officers on board and they had their booze from their club with them and they’d put it in a 4-tonne wagon. Now, whilst I was away, somebody had found out they could undo the back of the wagon and get into it. When I got back, oh it was terrible! The bleeding ship was all drunk! There was one bloke — I forget his name — he came from Middlesbrough. He was paralytic, out of his head! Jimmy-the-one was going mad!

Now these LSTs used to carry a great big anchor on the stern. The idea was that as they went to go up on the beach, they’d drop the anchor so that they could pull theirselves off the beach when they’d finished. Well, what this bloke from Middlesbrough did was, he went up top and took the pin out, which held the chain. So the anchor was let go, into the Bangkok River. Next thing I know, there’s a load of Red Caps with Tommy guns, they’re on board and when I looks up, somebody has flown the Union Jack upside down — that means mutiny.

We managed to hide this bloke. We hid him amongst the hammocks! Moved the hammocks to one side, got hold of him — because he was stiff like a bleeding board, he’d drunk so much — and we dropped him in, feet first and pushed the hammocks back over him. Well they said to me, didn’t they, ''Where is he?’’
I said ‘’I don’t know’’.
So Jimmy-the-one said ''Lewis, you know he could do himself an injury. He could fall over and fall into the river’’.
I said ''Well if he do, he’ll be lucky because he’ll be out of this bleeding lot’’.

Well, eventually they found him. The last I saw of him, they were taking him off in a Red Cap Army Lorry — they were taking him off to Gilman Prison.

Now we were all worried what was going to happen to us. I had helped hide this bloke, after all.

Anyway, a few days later, the Captain called me in and said ''What’s the best news you could possibly hear?’’
I said ''The post has arrived?’’
He said ''No, no, nothing to do with that. You’ve been nominated for a B-class release.’’
He said ''What were you in Civvy Street?’’
I said ''I was a plumber’’.
He said ''Well they want you to go back to plumbing’’.

Next thing I was back on shore in Bangkok. And the next thing I was in Singapore. And the next thing I was on Blackamatee Island, which is a big island off Singapore and from there I caught an aircraft carrier — The Indomitable — and from there, home.

And that was the end of my career in the navy.

But I’ll tell you one more war story before I finish. My Mum’s Mum -Granny White - lived in Brierley Street in Bethnal Green. She used to live downstairs and her daughter - my Aunt May and May's husband, Uncle Bill lived upstairs. My parents lived in Waterloo Gardens.

Now, I was on leave and I’d been drinking in the Rising Sun. They were only a 5 minute walk away so I decided to pop in and see Granny White. So I went in the front door this night and I heard Bill say: ''Come on Mother, come on Mother, the sirens are going’’.

He was trying to get Granny White out of the house and into the brick shelter which the council had built in the street. Half on the pavement and half on the street it was. Anyway, he carried on, ''Come on, Mother’’.

Then I heard Granny White say ''I can’t find me teeth Bill. I don’t know what I’ve done with me teeth.’’

And Bill said ''Can’t find your teeth? Its bombs they're dropping, not bleeding pork pies!’’.

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