Jono: Finding My Family on Facebook

Jono Lancaster Jono Lancaster — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 18:15:39 +0000

Adoption! It's something that's had a huge impact in my life and I'm thankful for having the oppurtunity to explore this on the show. This means a lot to me.

I've always known I was adopted. When I was younger, I thought it was dead cool that mum chose me from all the other kids. This is something I've always boasted to my friends about. I didn't really start thinking about my birth family until my teenage years - there was a time when I really struggled with the person I was and how I looked. I hated myself and knowing that my birth parents couldn't love me, how could anybody else???

I had no confidence and life was a struggle despite all the love I had from my adoptive family. I was angry, lonely and felt lost in the world. Thankfully, I got through it because I had family and friends that were always there for me.

But in 2009, I made the decision to find out about my birth parents - not neccessarily to meet them - but just wanted the chance to say 'hey this is me, I'm happy, hope you are too...'. It would've been amazing to meet them, but that wasn't the case.

I've no regrets though and I'm glad I tried - hope they're happy and have no guilt. What is interesting is that during the process of it all, I found out all sorts of info about my biological family from my paper work: their jobs, where they lived, what they were like and the best bit I of all, I had siblings. I even found out their names. Wow I have siblings!

Soon as I got home I went onto Facebook typing in their names, even shortening the names - but no luck. Frustrating! I wanted to see them. I wonder if they look like me? What do they do? I have all sorts I want to ask them, but haven't thought about the next step if, or when I eventually find them...More questions ran through my mind. What will I actually do when I find them? Surely I can't send them a message because they don't know about me? Surely I should respect my parents' wishes and keep away? But then what happens if they find out about me another way? Argghhh!!! I still dont know the best way to go about it - frustrates me...

I don't want to cause my siblings any heartache - and however they find out about me there'll be an element of grief. And what would finding out about me do to their relationship with their mum and dad? I'd hate anything to come between me and my mum - So how can I do it to them? In fact I dont know if I can.

Luckily though, when I do decide what to do, I know I have a great support network around me and I know no matter what I decide and whatever happens they'll always be there. I am one lucky guy and am truly grateful.

Watch Jono: Finding My Family on Facebook tonight at 9pm. Tell us what you think, tweet using #bbc3jono. You can watch the show on iPlayer.

Jono Lancaster: So What if My Baby is Born Like Me?

Jono Lancaster Jono Lancaster — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 11:52:15 +0000

Jono Lancaster and his girlfriend Laura

Wow - where do I start? This is all still a bit crazy. A year ago I was a man with the dream to raise awareness for my condition, Treacher Collins Syndrome. Now we're onto the second documentary So What if My Baby is Born Like Me? and the first one, Love Me Love My Face has been shown literally all over the world: France, Italy, Australia, New Zealand, Japan. I would love to see the Japanese dubbed version. Wow! As I write this I have a huge smile on my face.

I was so nervous about the first documentary coming out. It was such an emotional time in my life but the BBC and the guys from the production company did a brilliant job with it, and the reaction from the world has been overwhelming. People have shared their stories with me, told me secrets and wanted to say hello. It's been brilliant and I can't thank you all enough.

Yeah, there has been some negative stuff - unfortunately that's life. There's been people pretending to be family, making jokes about me on websites, even people messaging me on Facebook saying nasty stuff, even questioning why Laura is with me - but this just makes me more determined to continue what I'm doing.

A quick catch up: me and Laura are still going strong, she's getting better around the house, ha ha!

Little Ellie (who featured in Love Me Love My Face) has started school. Her first year's been a tough one and she's got her first operations in June, so I've decided to try and raise money for a trip to Disneyland for her. I'll be going through a week of pain for her - ha ha! Bring on those fears; I'm thinking of starting with a triathlon, back, crack and sack wax, bungee jump, sky dive, getting my nipples pierced, eating a meal of grubs and nasties. Then maybe lying in a bath of spiders...

Oh and I am getting a little better at those school talks - I haven't dropped my hearing aid since the first one. I've loved doing these - talking to the kids about my experiences of life, letting them ask questions. I love it and I've even done a few colleges too.

BBC Three asked if I was interested in doing So What if My Baby is Born Like Me? as it was something close to my heart. Something I was about to face and try and get my head around. And with the relationship I had with the guys at the production company, I jumped at the chance.

Again it's been emotional, but a journey that's been so very rewarding I've learnt lots. I'll never forget it and it's helped me loads. I think the most useful thing I've learnt is that what's right for one may not right for another. I feel so honoured to have met so many cool people - and the fact that they've shared bits of their lives with me means so much to me.

Jono Lancaster with Ashley, aged 10, who also has Treacher Collins syndrome, which affects the way their facial bones developed

Hmm - how do I end this? I hope this isn't the end but the start of an amazing period in my life....

Please add your comment to this blog if you want to share or ask me anything.

You can watch Jono in So What If My Baby is Born Like Me? tomorrow night at 9pm.

So What if My Baby is Born Like Me? is part of the Bringing Up Britain season.

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BBC Three - Blog - Jono Lancaster

Jono: Finding My Family on Facebook

Jono Lancaster: So What if My Baby is Born Like Me?